Forgetting the Lyrics
by Sayonara7Sauce
Summary: Ikuto heard this, and leaned against the doorframe. "Utau's an amnesiac? . . . Well, do you guys have any bright ideas on what to do now? I know you don't, Souma. What about you, Spectacles?" Kutau.
1. Introductions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! (Or The Emperor's New Groove or The Lion King Two. Or ramen noodles for that matter, except for the dry packets I do have in the cabinet.)**

**Another thing: While I spent time in preparation for this story researching, and at first I tried to keep the amnesia part of the story accurate, I eventually realized that I had to take some creative liberties with this. It's fiction; everyone needs to remember that. Amnesia can be a tricky illness to write about.**

Chapter 1

Who am I?

"She made it like a joke. She made it sound like it was really nothing and tomorrow it was going to pass," ~ Sophia Loren

_Kukai's POV_

Kukai entered the bakery ready to eat his fill. The rain clouds outside thwarted the morning sun's effort to shine, and while most people would just roll over in bed, Kukai practically leaped out of the house.

You could say he had an excellent date last night, and he hoped Utau had fun too. Even though she did bump her head from falling down in a race, she shrugged it off in her stubborn pride. He had suggested they get it checked out, but she only had yesterday to hang out, and she'd be damned if she was going to spend it in the emergency room. Kukai figured out later that Sanjo-san was out of the city looking for prospective tour locations, and Utau was set to hopefully to leave on tour in a few months.

But back to the bakery: Kukai stood inside, damp from today's weather, but satisfied with yesterday's events. He grinned to nobody in particular as he waited in line for his breakfast. Actually he received some strange looks from the people around him. Kukai's cell phone rang, and the people gave him some dirty looks too and scooted away from him. He flipped it open and his grin widened as he looked at Utau's name.

"Hey Utau, how's it going?"

"Hi, um, you're name is…" she paused, "Kukai? Right? Your name was the last number used on this phone. You said my name's Utau, right?"

Kukai knew it was Utau's voice, but she was confusing him. "Yeah, it's Kukai. Look, Utau, how about I grab a dozen donuts and head on over to your place?"

"Where do I live, though? I'm outside. At a park, I think." Utau sounded bewildered. "Hey, what was your name again?"

Kukai turned wildly around, as if she was sitting in the bakery, or maybe just outside. "You're outside? It's raining! Where are you?"

She paused, and he assumed she was looking around wherever she was. "There are some trees here, and a playground with a blue slide. I'm sitting on a yellow bench. How about I find you, um, Kuku?"

"NO!" He lowered his voice, to the gratitude of the other customers. "Just stay there. It's Kukai." He was already outside, and he thought he knew where she was. Utau either was confused, or pulling his leg. Daichi followed closely as Kukai started to jog.

~X~

Only a few minutes later did he see her sitting on a bench, looking around. When she saw him running towards her, she looked terrified and stood up to flee from his maniacal-self. He waved his arms and called her name, but she must not have heard him or understood. Her chara were with her, and it must have been that she saw Daichi that Kukai was able to catch up with her.

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Utau, what are you _doing?_" He gave her his jacket. "You could catch a cold."

~X~

Kukai ended up taking her to Sanjo Productions, where Kairi stood in while his sister was out.

Utau looked around, "Where are we?"

Kukai almost face-palmed. "You work here." He made her sit down as he called for Kairi.

"Well, who am I?" She looked dead serious. Kukai started searching Yukari's desk. Kairi was coming down the hall when Kukai found what he needed.

Kairi watched in interest as Kukai grabbed Utau's left wrist. Using Yukari's black sharpie, he printed on the back of her hand, "I AM UTAU."

Utau looked up at him. "Thanks, Kuzco." She turned her head and opened her mouth to introduce herself to her manager's brother, but Kukai cut her off.

"What's wrong with her, Spectacles."

Kairi uncomfortably pushed his glasses further up. "It looks like she can't remember anything, _Kuzco._"

Musashi and Daichi floated over to Eru and Iru. Solemnly, Mushashi spoke up, "It appears that Utau's chara cannot remember themselves either. We have a phenomenon here." Daichi nodded in agreement, as Iru and Eru looked at them in confusion.

"So," Kukai literally scratched his head. "What's that called? Amnesty?"

"No," Kairi will always be in awe at people's stupidity. "_Amnesia_."

**A/n: (As usual, my page breaks weren't working). Ok, so the first chapter was short, but it was a good place to end it. I'd appreciate any comments :D**


	2. Amnesia

**A/n: I don't own Shugo Chara, nor the quotes I put at the beginning. I couldn't find who said it first.**

Chapter 2:

"It isn't that I don't know, it's just that you wouldn't understand if I told you."

_Kairi's POV_

Kairi and Kukai took Utau back to her house, as a cough was settling in her. Inside, she politely gazed at her house from her spot on the sofa. Kukai pulled three sodas from her fridge and plopped down next to her. Kairi sat across from them and refused the drink.

"So…" Kukai started. "Now what?"

"Well, I've read some interesting things about the types of amnesia, and—"

Kukai cut in, "Do I really need to know this?"

Kairi just looked at him. Did he just _interrupt _him? He took off his glasses to wipe them clean with his shirt. Putting them back on, he said, "Maybe you can figure that out for yourself, _Jock._"

Utau surprised both of them by joining in. She turned to Kukai, "Shut up Kovu." She turned to Kairi, "Go on Riley, but keep it simple." Satisfied, she crossed her arms and leaned back. Kukai seemed hurt.

Kairi took his cue, "Well, there are two types of memory. There's long term, and obviously short termed. Most cases of amnesia only report forgetfulness in one of types of the memories, but there are cases where access to both long and short-term memories is lost. Utau appears to be one of these uncommon cases."

When he finished, they all fell silent. Kukai fiddled with his pop can tab, Utau brushed at her skirt, and the chara were running around somewhere. Kukai opened his mouth, and Kairi inwardly swore to hit him if he was going to ask what they should do now. Kukai stopped himself though, as the doorknob jiggled and the door flew open. Ikuto walked inside and smoothly closed the front door with his foot.

~X~

_Kukai's POV_

Kukai wasn't sure how to explain Utau to Ikuto. Or, Ikuto to Utau for that matter. Just as he was about to make introductions to the siblings, Utau stood up and squealed.

"Ikuto! You're here!" Kukai fell off the couch. He remained frozen on the floor as she ran up to Ikuto and hugged him. Ikuto endured it, and then pushed her away.

Kairi seemed smug. Kukai glared up at the younger boy from the ground. "You know something." He made it sound like an accusation.

Kairi's glasses gleamed. "It's highly unlikely for an amnesiac to forget _everything. _Of course you would have known that too, if you had let me speak. I was just about to suggest we find out what she _did_ remember, when our answer walked right through the front door." Kukai made a mental note not to interrupt the kid again, lest he went all samurai on his ass.

Ikuto heard this, and leaned against the doorframe. "Utau's an amnesiac?" Utau's giggles at the mention of her name disheartened Kukai. She's totally reverted back to her Ikuto fan-girl phase. Ikuto was still speaking. " . . . Well, do you guys have any bright ideas on what to do now? I know you don't, Souma. What about you, Spectacles?"

Kairi didn't hit him.

~X~

_Kukai's POV_

They ended up taking Utau to the hospital. In retrospect, maybe a little too late, Kukai thought. She was admitted, and the three boys were wandering the hallway. Ikuto mysteriously vanished, to Kukai's enjoyment. Kairi looked unusually bored. Kukai dug around in his pocket. He still had his breakfast money. For once food wasn't on his mind though, because they boiled some ramen noodles at the Tsukiyomi residence earlier. Utau still had her appetite, thank God.

"Oi, Sanjo," Kukai turned to the other ex-jack. "Let's go to that office supply store on the corner. She won't be missing us anytime soon."

"Strange words coming from you, Jock," but Kairi was already walking towards the elevator.

Kukai bought what he needed for his plan. He called it "Make Utau Remember Me So That She Can Forget Her Brother," or MURMSTSCFB. He was only disappointed that he couldn't get the abbreviation to spell out an acronym. He already pocketed the Sanjo sharpie from earlier, and now he purchased a packet of sticky nametags, a recyclable camera and a five-cent notebook. When they returned to the hospital, the receptionist said that Utau was released a few minutes ago.

"What? Why'd you do that?" Kukai leaned over the counter to the woman behind it. "She could get lost or something!"

Kairi tapped his shoulder. "Kukai, she's right over there." Kukai looked where he pointed and saw Utau sitting on a beige couch. He leaned away from the counter and set his heels back on the ground. He awkwardly apologized to the receptionist. When he turned away, he saw Utau pretend not to look at them.

"Looks like she forgot us again." Kukai murmured to Kairi. He raised his voice to Utau. "Utau!" He raised his arms pointed to his left hand. She was still slightly suspicious, but she walked over to them. He pointed to his hospital nametag. "It's Kukai." Pointed to Kairi. "Kairi." Finally he added, "We know Ikuto." Her face brightened up and she agreed to leave the hospital with them. Kairi asked her what the doctor said.

"I don't know." Utau shrugged. "The doctor must have thought it was nothing, though. I just have a cold. Whatever, right?"

"Wrong." Kukai said. Kairi went off to find out what the doctor said. Apparently, she had a concussion, although hospitalization was not necessary for hers or for the amnesia. She needed plenty of rest and no physical activity. And they should watch her. Especially make sure the cold doesn't progress into anything worse, etc. etc. Kukai thought that should be the least of their worries. Utau sneezed.

**A/n: Next chapter comes out next week! How do Utau and Kukai cope with this? (R&R please, but I'll still publish it even if there aren't very many.)**


	3. Questions

**A/n: I don't own Shugo Chara. I wish I had more to say...**

Chapter 3

Questions

I'm not too sure she knew what the hell I was talking about. I mean she's only a little child and all. But she was listening, at least. If somebody at least listens, it's not too bad." -JD Salinger

Kukai's POV

Over the next couple days Utau stayed home due to her injury and minor illness and the fact that she might not be able to find her way back once she got off the front porch. Kukai came to visit everyday after school. He was falling behind in his grades because he was filling out the notebook with stuff he thought was useful for Utau. He took pictures of each guardian member and taped the picture to the page and wrote down their name, their chara's name, and their address. Whenever Kukai felt he was certain to have everything written down, he would remember something else to write, and he would keep the notebook another day. It was important to him to get everything for her; it was her memory on paper.

One day at her house, Utau asked him two things. His first answer was to point at his nametag. Her second question stumped him.

"Why are you doing this for me?"

He couldn't say that he loved her. Firstly, that would freak her out, but then again, it's not that she would remember it much later. Actually . . .

That wouldn't have been an entirely truthful answer. Kukai wasn't sure if he was in love with the Utau That Remembered in the first place. And if he didn't love the old Utau, he knew he couldn't love the new one. There was nothing wrong with her, he reasoned. But it would be like building a relationship on sand, too close to the erasing tides.

She looked up expectantly for an answer.

"I have an undying and passionate love for you. Okay?"

"Freak." She wasn't fazed. "You don't even know me." Utau rolled over on the couch and fell asleep.

-X-

_Utau's POV_

When Utau woke up later she looked around her. She was in a strange home. The radio was on somewhere. She didn't know what her favorite color was. A boy walked across the room (she wanted to say his name was Kooky, but… no she was pretty sure it was), and turned up the radio to hear the voice of a girl singing.

"Your song's on, Utau."

She assumed he was talking to her, since Utau was the name written on her hand. "I never heard of this song before, Kooky."

"Kukai. Well, it's your song." He was slurping some noodles too loudly for Utau.

"What's my favorite color?" He sat for a moment, thinking over her question. "I don't know, actually. How about purple? That sounds right."

Utau stood up and walked past the radio and to the bedrooms. One was mostly dark blue. She continued onto the next one… no that's a bathroom… and there's a closet. There. She leaned into the purple bedroom. It had a feminine flair to it, and the style was mostly to her liking.

Wait. Where was she? She was standing in a bedroom doorway. Down the hall she could see a man eating noodles. She needed to be extra quiet so as not to attract his attention. She tiptoed into the bedroom.

She decided that whoever's room it was; she didn't like them. She peeked into the closet. Sick. Frilly gothic dresses and other similar attire. Overall, it seemed to Utau that the owner of this room had a serious attitude problem. Life couldn't be that bad for the girl that she needed to deck her room for a punk rock funeral. She had a sense of style though; she just needed to apply it in a more positive way. She walked over to the dresser and looked down at the mess. Sheets of half-finished songs crinkled away to reveal pictures. There was one of a small Ikuto, herself and a little blonde boy among others. _Weird._ Utau heard footsteps. _Shit. That girl must be home. What am I going to say about being here? That I—_

Utau promptly forgot.

Kukai leaned against the doorframe and sighed.

~X~

A string of days passed for Kukai, and another week was gone. For Utau the days were more like random beads, unconnected without memory.

He was over the initial shock. Even though all Utau _had_ in her pretty little head were questions, Kukai couldn't help but feel _more _confused than her sometimes. No one had any idea how long this was going to last, or if Utau was going to be stuck like this forever. For her sake he hoped not. It would be the same scene replaying over and over again. The same scene for the both of them.

For his sake, Kukai just hoped he could figure out why he was still here. For the time being, she didn't even know, nonetheless _care _about him. Kukai was doing all of the work in this relationship. Hell, Utau probably didn't know she was even _in _a relationship. It was all jumbled up in his head, and as he scrutinized his severely under-appreciated memories of the times he had with Utau, he felt an answer come up to him.

A whisper of hope bubbled forth from the time when Utau had shifted over away from Easter. Back then she had found a balance between her chara. Afterwards, when she found herself starting anew with Sanjo Productions, she needed to let go of her pride for the moment and hold onto her loyalty to Yukari. She drew the strength to survive the situations from herself and others. In the difficult situations throughout her life, Utau found herself.

Kukai felt this time would be no different.

**A/n: I'd like to thank all of those who either favorited or reviewed my work so far. You guys make me smile. Please, if you find anything that might help my writing, speak up (just, you know, not in a rude way). **

**I still need to actually finish writing my story before I post all of my chapters, so maybe my next chapter will come out in a few more days.**


	4. Truths and Lies

**A/n: I don't own Shugo Chara! And I'm sorry for not updating since, well, that's the thing. I don't remember when. Before last Friday, at least.**

**I really like this chapter, though. :)**

Chapter 4

Truths and Lies

Everyone complains of his lack of memory, but nobody of his want of judgment." Kin Hubbard

Utau looked at the smiling girl in front of her and then looked back down at the notebook in her hands. In obnoxious lettering, _Utau's Memory Bank _was plastered on the cover, in a man's messy handwriting.

A boy named Kunai handed it to her and rushed the explanation about her amnesia. It sounded like he tried to jam everything he knew into thirty seconds, and then they were out the door. Now he stood next to her as she faced the girl. Her hair was pink. Why? No clue. The pink girl's smile started to fade, and Kunai leaned over to Utau.

"Use the notebook. Quick." In the end he must have thought she was taking too long because he grabbed it from her hands and flipped the page to a picture of the pink girl.

She squinted her eyes over the handwriting. "Amu?" Looked up for confirmation.

Amu grinned in relief and shared a knowing look with Kunai. Utau frowned at that and glared back down at the notebook:

_Amu is about four years younger than you and has four chara. Besides that, she has a younger sister names Ami who loves your music. Amu is dating Ikuto._

Utau's eyes narrowed, but said nothing. The silence was stifling for Kunai and Amu, as she started picking lint off her sleeve, and Kunai shifted from foot to foot. In a fluid movement, Utau smacked the back of his head.

"Why the hell would I want to remember that?"

O~O~O

_Kairi's POV_

When Sanjo Yukari heard the news, Kairi wished _someone _had told her a couple of weeks earlier. It was almost a month since the previous jack [ass, Kairi inserted] had dropped in with Utau and expected Kairi to fix everything. At least that's what Kairi assumed Kukai was doing at the time. And no one bothered with Utau's manager up until now. Kairi rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried to ignore the effects of another person's mistake; in other words, his screaming sister.

Yukari stormed across the apartment, throwing small stuff whenever her hands fell upon it. A picture frame of her and Utau flew in an arc and the glass smashed onto the wooden floor. She picked up a thick novel and tried to throw that too, but it didn't go as far. Meanwhile she was going on and on and on—

"How could this have happened!" Yukari was unreasonable at her best, and now she had gone mad, in several meanings of the word. Kairi was just glad they weren't in the kitchen, where he was cooking dinner.

Actually Kairi almost hoped she was done parading around the apartment like a toddler, but she wasn't finished.

Because unfortunately, the next object to fall into Yukari's grasp was Musashi.

"No! Yukari-neesan!" Kairi ran to his sister in a mad dash to save his chara. In her fist, Musashi had taken on the composure of one nobly awaiting his end. Kairi made a jump for his little samurai, but Yukari was just too tall with her heels.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" The hand that held Musashi was above her head, and in her eyes Kairi saw that she would cross the line. She was willing to throw him. Practically jumping up and down, Kairi realized that they were both acting childish and he took a wary step away from her.

"Put the chara down, Onee-san." Kairi hoped his voice had the deliberation it needed. What was it that Confucius once said? The cautious seldom err. Kairi couldn't err now.

Then again, Confucius never had Yukari as a sister. Kairi needed to outwit her.

"Hey Onee-san, I invited Nikaido-sensei over to celebrate your return home. He should be here in—"

"What! No! I have to go change this shirt and—" In her panic, she released Musashi and ran to her room. From it, she called out to Kairi, "Clean up the living room, quickly!"

Kairi and Musashi looked around at the wreckage around them. A potted plant slid off from the shelf and smashed to pieces.

Musashi said nothing as they strolled out the front door.

**A/n: Musashi has to be one of my favorite chara. And the notebook, well that's a real tactic that people with anterograde (short-term) amnesia can use. I'd like to thank everyone for favoriting, reviewing, adding it to story (or me) to alert. I'll try to update more regularly.**

**Eh... that was kinda short, wasn't it? But that just means more individual chapters, right? R&R please :D**


	5. Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara, or the quotes.**

**Happy Birthday Maddie :)**

Chapter 5

Time

_Time doesn't always heal: it just breathes and swallows memories like the seasons change - sending showers; beating flowers into the mud. And nothing is forever in this place. Nothing but the way my heart fits in your hands; the held breath of hope; and the sweet lingering taste of grace._

The calendar hanging in the Souma kitchen only showed Kukai that Utau's situation was not improving. The pictures changed as four months went by, and every day of every month Kukai would rush to Utau, his face hopeful, only to see Utau's blank expression. The fact that she forgot about him every day made him forget that she still had a chance. The weather changed, from a blossoming spring full of potential to a stifling summer.

The heat oppressed everybody.

O~O~O

Kukai pulled back the welcome rug and swiped the key underneath. Unlocking the door, he barely knocked as he walked into Utau's living room. It was all habit to him now. He figured that Utau wouldn't open the door to a stranger, so he asked Ikuto for a key. The older boy couldn't care less, but he would know if Kukai stole anything. Kukai felt cool keeping the key under the rug.

Kukai leaned into the living room and frowned at how dark it was. Strolling to the window, he pulled the curtains back to let the light flood down on Utau. She sat on the couch in a rather dejected manner.

"What's the matter, Idol-san?" Kukai ungracefully plopped down next to her.

"I'm not an idol, idiot." Utau hung her head low. Kukai noticed the notebook he had given her on the coffee table in front of her. She continued speaking, "How can I be an idol if I can't remember my fans?" She looked up at him, and he saw her eyes glaze over with tears.

Kukai was not prepared to deal with this. He can handle anger, sarcasm, pride, any of those hard emotions. Seeing Utau like this bothered him, and he did all he could do.

"Hey, Utau, let's go get some ramen." _Idiot._ Instant Mental Face Palm. She was obviously not in the mood for some noodles. Maybe she just wanted to cry on his shoulder? Surprisingly (and a relief) to Kukai, she nodded, and a few minutes later they were out the door.

O~O~O

The sunlight had an effect on Utau, and before long both of them were smiling. She could even get Kukai's name right, and not only that; she could _remember_ it. She was able to retain her short-term memory for a little bit longer that day.

They were on the sidewalk down by the shops, and among the crowd Kukai was concerned that people would recognize her, but Utau never cared before, and she didn't care now. Some things about her never changed. Kukai suspected that she _wanted _to be recognized. Up ahead, he saw a throng of his classmates: a group of girls that he knew for a fact (Kukai frowned, he was starting to sound like Sanjo) loved Utau the Idol. He braced for an encounter, and told Utau the same.

She smirked at that, and held her head up high as they walked past the cluster. Every set of eyes glanced at Utau, and every set of eyes passed over her.

Utau had forgotten her fans.

Her fans had forgotten Utau.

One girl shyly waved at Kukai.

He mentally face-palmed.

O~O~O

Utau's pride suffered a severe blow from that, although she made sure not to show Kukai.

She realized that it must have been awhile since she had a concert, and that it was easily possible for her to fall out of the spotlight. But the fact that not _one _of the girls said anything, or pointed at her, or even _nudged _each other, made Utau sink deeper into her depression. None of their faces even _lit up_ with recognition.

Was that the way _she_ was all the time? She stole a glance at Kukai. He was whistling in an obnoxiously cheerful way, and not making eye contact. Why was he even still here? Was he always here? Yes, she had a feeling he always visited her. Did she respond to him the same way her fans saw her? Her heart sank. Yes, she had a feeling she did. His strange loyalty to Utau made her wish she could remember him. He must be a keeper.

Or a stalker.

She slid another glance. Kukai looked straight ahead.

She couldn't be sure.

O~O~O

"We're eating Ramen Noodles — chicken and beef — that's what we eat everyday." Ahmad Griffin

The salty smell of the ramen shop greeted the couple as they entered The Place. It was The Place because it was in this ramen shop that they had had their first contest. They probably had eaten about a thousand bowls of noodles here. They probably had about a thousand stomachaches afterwards. Laughter, sarcastic remarks, jokes and slurping reverberated in the past. Their stools were front and center, right in front of the chef. Kukai always sat to Utau's right, Utau on his left. They hadn't been here in a while.

Kukai breathed it in and sighed. Laughing, he sat on his official unassigned stool and greeted the chef as if they were old friends.

"It's great to see my best-eating customers again! I thought you might have found somewhere cheaper. What can I do ya?"

Kukai turned to the spot on his left, but Utau sat on his right.

Kukai decided to order for her.

**A/n: Okay, so although my grammar is all right, I feel like maybe I should get a beta-reader, just for a second opinion maybe, and sentence-flow or plot stuff. If not for this story, then definitely for my next big thing. I was looking around on the search beta-reader, and it might be fun to have someone help me out a bit. Eh, we'll see, right?**

**Thanks for following my story so far :D**


	6. Stuck

**A/n: I do not own anything. Hmm . . . I like this chapter.**

Chapter 6

Stuck

"_You can't wait around cause you'll never know what hand you're going to get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes to you. To make each day count._"

The dim lamp flickered on the kitchen table as Yukari looked down on the scattered papers. All were official looking. Most were bills. She slumped in her chair and rubbed her temples, and decided to face the facts. It was easy to do, since she's been crunching numbers for an hour now.

One: although Utau still retained the ability to sing, she couldn't remember the lyrics.

Two: this has been going on for way too long.

Three: Sanjo Productions was falling into bankruptcy. She needed someone new to bring in the money.

Four: Yukari needed to pay these bills _pronto, _and she needed to be realistic. She needed to be safe these next few months.

Yukari sighed in defeat, and pulled her laptop closer to her. Pulling up the Internet, she started to look for a job.

O~O~O

"Why am _I _shopping for groceries?" Kukai grumbled and pushed the cart while Utau tagged along. He was mainly crossed because the cart had a bad wheel, and Kukai was struggling to keep it straight.

"Wait, Ikuto gave me a note." Utau patted her body, checked her purse, and then pulled out a slip of notebook paper. Kukai wondered how she couldn't remember her name everyday, but would be able to recall a _note _Ikuto gave her. Utau cleared her throat and recited:

"_Souma, you are doing our grocery shopping because you eat most of the food out of that fridge anyway. You kill it, you refill it. Utau's with you for the morale support. Don't lose her," _Utau snorted_, "Whatever that means." _She continued her brother's note_, "Anyway, make sure you get the salmon. –Ikuto."_

"Hey, did that note have the grocery list on it too?"

Utau scanned it. "No."

"I think I forgot it at home."

She snorted. "And you say _I'm _the amnesiac?" Of course Kukai snickered at that. It was sort of ironic.

Utau turned to him. "Hey, what's so funny?"

Kukai doubled over in laughter.

O~O~O

Utau stood in front of her dresser, and glared at the sheet of paper in her hands, and then up at the mirror in front of her. The notebook paper was several months old, and had a song of hers written on it. The only problem with it was that it was half-finished. She had a refrain and two verses, and suddenly in the middle, it stopped. It wouldn't have bothered Utau too much, but she couldn't remember how she wanted to finish it. Whatever plan she had for this song, whatever emotions she was feeling while writing it, was lost. She could still complete it now, of course, but it would never be the same. Not unless she could _remember _what was so important to sing about in the first place.

She looked at the photographs taped to her mirror. Most were of her family and Ikuto, some of her and her new friends. With her image reflected in the mirror, it appeared that she was surrounded by all of them.

One picture was of her and Kukai.

She shook her head in wonder. _How did I feel about him?_

She wished she could remember.

O~O~O

**A/n: Sorry, it's short, but I thought the grocery scene was cute. **

**About that, I know that her remembering the note's not that realistic, but I put it in there anyway :P **

**Reviews? I'm sort of experimenting with my writing, and that's why I'm slow updating.**

**(I think reading fanfiction with the 3/4 way is easier. Just an opinion.)**


	7. Something Else

_Chapter 7_

Something Else

"_Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you'" ~ Erich Fromm_

O~O~O

Nowadays, Ikuto was almost never alone with his thoughts.

He and Yoru would still go out on their midnight strolls, but more often than not it was to drop-in at Amu's. Not that he minded those.

No, he still had the freedom to explore the town at night. It was the coming-home part that had changed.

At the beginning of this mess, when Ikuto entered through the front door, Utau would be waiting for him on the couch, and she would ask him questions.

And then, a few minutes later, she'd ask the _same _questions.

He knew she couldn't help it, but still.

Ikuto's next move was to enter the house through his window. After a couple successful entries, he wondered why he didn't do this the first time around. Maybe because he felt like he was breaking into his own house.

Utau always seemed to remember _him _though, and soon after he'd settle down she'd peek her head in his room and want to talk to him again.

That was early on in the amnesia though. With that boyfriend of hers around, well, she just didn't bother Ikuto as much. He figured it must be that subconscious stuff.

Souma. At first, way before the amnesia, Ikuto thought Utau was joking when she talked about her younger date. What had he said to her then? Oh yeah, Ikuto had teased her.

"_Hey Utau, now we're both cat-like. I'm the stray and you're the cougar."_

"_Idiot." _

Ikuto had joked because he hadn't taken her seriously, and it was fun. He didn't really care because it got Utau into a healthier, less-creepy relationship than when she chased him. He had still thought Souma was a joke, and that his sister's relationship with him was a teenage fling, but it kept Utau distracted.

And then the amnesia kicked in.

And Souma stayed.

He didn't have to. Ikuto had to, but her almost-not-quite-boyfriend had no obligation. So it impressed Ikuto that the kid stayed. For what, four months? Five? There was no purpose, no reason. Ikuto figured that the kid must have really liked Utau. Enough to what, _babysit _her? Ikuto felt there had to be something else.

He decided to nap on it.

O~O~O

Kukai entered the Tsukiyomi residence to drop in on his favorite amnesiac.

"Oi, Utau?"

He walked past the empty living room, peeked his head into the deserted kitchen, roamed the hallways, knocked on her bedroom door, and even waited outside the bathroom for five minutes. Throughout his search, a panic bloomed in the pit of his stomach and he became increasingly worried.

She could be anywhere.

Kukai picked up his pace and threw open the doors of every room in the house. He double-checked and triple-checked. The basement. The attic. Laundry room. The backyard.

The last room he busted open was Ikuto's.

O~O~O

_Ikuto's POV_

The owner of the room, who was currently lounging on his bed, looked over to see Kukai leaning on the doorknob almost out-of breath. The entire time Ikuto had heard the commotion going on in his house, and he simply waited for Kukai to check his room.

"So Souma, did you find her?"

O~O~O

_Kukai's POV_

The dawning realization that Ikuto allowed him to spend twenty minutes _scared shitless_ just to amuse his lazy ass made Kukai stand up straighter and add indignation to his voice.

"Where is she?"

Ikuto yawned and stretched his arms. "Oh, you know. Out."

Kukai felt like punching the wall. Utau could be alone, confused, hurt or something. "Okay, out _where?_"

The older boy sat up and glared at Kukai. "Don't say it like that. She's my sister, she doesn't need someone new to come around and control her."

The soccer all-star was surprised at the dark turn the conversation took. "Ikuto, she has anterograde _amnesia. _She kinda does need someone to be with her."

"My point is that it doesn't always have to be you. Her other friends are pitching in." Ikuto continued. "She's with Amu and Rima at the mall right now. Amu felt like giving Utau a girl's day out."

Kukai turned around to leave the room, when Ikuto added, "Do you think it matters? Even if she gets her long-term memory back, she'll never remember the last couple months. It's nice what you're doing, but it won't make her fall in love with you."

Kukai focused on the doorknob and sighed quietly, almost to himself, "Yeah, I know. I'm in love with a clean page."

Ikuto's door clicked shut, and the house key dropped back under the rug. Down the front stairs and on the sidewalk, Kukai's tennis shoes slapped the asphalt. With his hands in his pockets and his mind in a whirlpool, he tried to think by studying the cracks. The entire time he wondered if what he said was true. He had just spoken them without thought. So were they without meaning too? Did he love her? Does anyone ever know? He never really put much thought towards these things, but he knew his answer.

Yes.

Lifting up his head, Kukai beamed to nobody in particular.

O~O~O

**A/n: I was sort of nervous about this chapter, so I procrastinated posting it. Sorry! I figured it was an important one and I didn't want to screw it up, but I had trouble with the dialog anyway. I also realized that this story isn't really plot driven, more like how the characters would react in this situation. But I do have an exciting chapter partially written for later . . . I think I'm about to wrap this up in the next four chapters or so. Thanks for reading :)**


	8. ForgetMeNot

_**A/n: Ah okay. Sort of a fluffy (?) depressing random chapter that I wrote, but then I had no idea where it would fit in my storyline. But now looking at it, there is one piece of important information . . .**_

Chapter 8

Forget-Me-Not

_"The mouse-ear forget-me-not, __Myosotis laxa__, has now extended its racemes (?) very much, and hangs over the edge of the brook. It is one of the most interesting minute flowers. It is the more beautiful for being small and unpretending; even flowers must be modest." ~ Henry David Thoreau_

O~~O~~O

He was back at the supermarket, but without Utau to accompany him. Kukai navigated between the leafy greens and the other shoppers, sometimes taking his eyes away from the aisle to look at the grocery list. Somehow he had gotten a bad wheel again, and it was a task in itself to not run the cart into the tomato stand.

So, instead he ran the cart into Tadase, next to the tomatoes.

"Crap. Sorry Hotori. This damn wheel…"

If Tadase was in pain, he didn't show it, and smiled to his friend. "That's okay. Are you grocery shopping?"

"Uh, yeah." Kukai looked and saw a bouquet of flowers in Tadase's hand. He gestured towards them, "Whose are those?"

"It's my mom's birthday, and they're on sale." Tadase perked up. "Utau might like some."

Kukai considered saying that he didn't do flowers, but Utau probably would want them. He laughed because it's not like she'd remember to make fun of him later. "I guess so."

On the way out, he picked up a bundle of blue forget-me-nots and glanced at them before dropping them into his cart.

He understood why they were blue.

O~~O~~O

Utau sighed in exasperation. What was a girl to do around here? Wherever _here _was. She was in a strange room, and no one was in sight. Curiosity and a sense of adventure overtook Utau as she rummaged through the living room. _Clues, clues, I need clues._ She chanted mindlessly as she flipped through a notebook that she didn't bother reading. The front pages had pictures, and the back pages had little journal entries.

The entries all seemed like rubbish to Utau. Random tidbits about little events. See, the last one was about _flowers._ Wait. Utau thought she heard a yawn, and she lifted her head. No people were in sight, but on a table at eye-level was a small vase of blue blossoms.

Instinctively, Utau picked up a pen and started writing.

It's an amnesiac thing.

O~~O~~O

A while later, when the blue flowers crinkled in surrender to their own withering defeat, Utau was decorating her notebook. With markers, bits of ribbon, whatever. She had looked bored. Her notebook had looked ugly and tattered. Therefore she brought out the glue sticks (after searching for awhile, then she forgot, and _then _she wondered why she had glue sticks). Eventually she made her way to sprucing up her notebook, in a way that it more closely resembled a proper scrapbook.

Either way, Utau noticed the finished flowers and cropped the extra stems off two, and taped them next to a picture of a boy she once wished she could remember.

O~~O~~O

Well, Ikuto's seen worse.

The door swung open to reveal his sister and Souma on the floor.

Playing _Clue_, of course.

"Utau, you've already checked the Conservatory. I showed you that card. See?" Kukai shuffled through his hand and waved the card.

Looking up, he grinned to Ikuto. "Wanna join?"

Looking down on her list, Utau wrinkled her brows in concentration. "Okay. I'll just go to the Billiards Room. She picked up Professor Plum and—

"Utau, you're Miss Scarlet."

"The red one?"

"Yeah. But you're in the conservatory right now. After my turn you can go to the Billiards Room." Kukai looked up at Ikuto proudly. "I'm Colonel Mustard. You can be Mrs. Peacock if you want to play."

Ikuto closed the door.

Then again, what could be worse than those two?

O~~O~~O

**A/n: Did you know that short-term memory loss (or anterograde) amnesiacs could, with repetition, pick up the habit of writing things down? So Utau doing that isn't too abnormal. I had to write a chapter about forget-me-nots . . . it's in the name :D**


	9. Friends

Chapter 9

Friends

"_It's almost __funny__ now. Every time we look up, it's like freak stuff, not even like basketball injuries. It's almost comedy the way this season's gone.__"__ ~ David Wesley_

**O~~O~~O**

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in the fresh air.

Breathe out raggedly.

Breathe in the sweat.

Out with the excitement.

His feet flew across the field as Kukai kept the soccer ball close. Weaving between his opponents, number ten made a pass to number fifteen, and watched as the play go beyond his control. Teamwork and trust was crucial in soccer, and Kukai knew Yamada could handle it.

Just, maybe not this time.

_(Shoot, we lost possession.)_

So that meant Kukai couldn't just space off, and he focused again as he intercepted the opposing team. When he had the ball, he pivoted and led the ball to the goal. He felt his shoes' spikes dig and uproot the ground.

_I wonder if Utau's seeing this._

Kukai had invited the Guardians and Utau to his game, seeing as it was one of the first in this season. He knew they sat somewhere on the grassy hill that overlooked the field, but now was not the time to look. He was swiftly closing in on the goal, and in the background noise he could distinctly hear Nagihiko yelling at him to finish it.

_Must have character changed with Temari._

Kukai passed the ball without breaking his pace, and slipped in between two defenders. Now he was open, and accepted the ball again. The goal lied directly in front of him.

Now, there was only the goalie.

Everyone fell silent in anticipation, with bated breath. Except for one.

"Wait, Amu, don't let her go_ on the field!_"

_. . . Hotori?_

Recognition clicked, and Kukai couldn't help himself as he turned over his shoulder to see Utau marching over to him. The notebook he had given her was held rolled up in her hand like a newspaper. Amu stood on the edge of the field as she and everybody else watched Utau stride across the grass and up to Kukai. Kukai himself screeched to a stop. He realized that now he was never going to make that shot, as the ball was taken from him. He faintly heard classmates screaming, the referees yelling at Utau, and his coach throwing a fit about him losing possession. This was all background noise to him, as Utau took center stage.

"What-"

"Kukai. Don't. I need to say this now."

He looked around at everyone who was either shouting at her to get off, or watching them curiously. He turned back to her and shrugged. "Okay. Sure."

Utau bit the inside of her mouth as she contemplated her next words. Her eyebrows pulled down. Almost angrily, she twisted her notebook in her two hands, and Kukai was beginning to think that her memory lapsed when she spoke again. "I think, if my journal entries are true, then we must be pretty close. Right?"

"Yeah, right. We're good friends." Kukai knew she meant something by that, by her careful tone, but he'd have to have Kairi's report card if he knew what.

"Friends?" She kept her voice light, but her eyes flashed (whatever that means). He nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I always thought so. Pals. I know you don't remember, but we hang out and stuff." He grinned, enjoying the attention she gave him, even though he knew that it was all only temporary. This was always going to be a one-sided relationship. But what she was doing right now was sort of cute, even though his coach probably didn't think so.

" . . . Right. Yeah." Utau shrugged her shoulders, her violet eyes just out of his gaze, and plodded off his field to Amu. Not knowing what to make of that, he turned away when she pulled out a pen, and started jogging over to his furious coach, not remorseful at all. Except maybe, for not making that shot.

**O~~O~~O**

_Date: August 17, 2010_

_Time: 3:19 PM_

_Where: Kukai's soccer game_

_I went out there. In the middle of his freaking game, to tell what I felt. I went out there to _confess_. I mean, I'm only going on my feelings here. A woman's intuition, sort of. And you know what he said, before I could say anything? "We're pals, right?" _

_Who was I kidding? I have everything wrong here. Kukai probably pities me. I can't really hate him for it. Besides, who needs a person that forgets their name? _

_The only thing that's going to be stopping me from getting over this, this _infatuation_, is this entry. I should rip it out._

_But I might make the same wrong assumptions again. I can't embarrass myself. I'd forget, but he won't. I need his friendship, at least._

_I'll learn the lesson and forget the pain that came from the mistake._

**O~~O~~O**

Rima did a double take to make sure the door was securely closed and locked before she pulled her shirt over her head. Her hair followed with and she knew before looking in the smudged mirror that it would need a brush. With her socked feet on the carpet of ugly, she ignored the hip music blasting somewhere from the ceiling and instead selected one of the shirts she brought with her into the cramped changing room. It sort of smelled, Rima thought, as she examined herself in the mirror. _Druggies. Definitely. It's most likely that cashier with the hunched back posture and the long black fingernails_. Rima hated the shirt. It matched the carpet. She hated the way her hair looked at that moment too. _I think this is why I hate trying on clothes, _Rima mused. _It takes too long and it messes up my hair. _She glanced back at the hanger where more shirts awaited, and a pair of jean shorts. Those were ugly, too. Removing the shirt, Rima ignored the mirror's reflection of her and efficiently tugged her own shirt back over her mane of hair. She only stayed in the fluorescent room as long as she needed to run her hands through her hair before stepping into the narrow hallway.

In the stall to her left Rima saw Amu's socks disappear behind the door into a pair of jeans. Down the hall to her right was a set of three mirrors, where she saw their six chara giggling. Kusu Kusu, Amu's terrible trio, and Utau's pair pretended to walk down a modeling runway in front of the mirrors. Not sparing them a second thought, Rima turned back to Amu's stall and said in her quiet voice.

"Amu, I'll be in the store. How much longer will you be?"

Muffled behind the door, Amu called back. "Just a few minutes. Are you buying anything?"

"No."

Rima heard Amu struggle with an article of clothing. Amu replied. "Oh okay. Keep an eye on Utau when she gets out of the changing room."

"Sure." The petite girl, even more so aware of her height in public, stepped back out into the store targeted for people taller and older than her. This place was more of Amu's style. Her gothic plaid and stripes, her skulls, her spunky fashion looked down on Rima from the racks high on the walls. _Why are clothes even up there anyway? The employee always has to get it. Just makes it awkward. And awkward kills sales._

Rima stood in the center of the aisle, gazing at the gothic punkness and stupidity of it all, when her eyes met the cashier's. The creepy girl stared at her from behind the counter, and Rima realized that she should pretend to be interested, unless be dubbed suspicious by the girl who might be into illegal substances.

Only a minute of pushing hangers and having the employee glare at the back of her head had passed, when to Rima it felt like an hour. She knew Amu grabbed an armful of clothes, and Rima couldn't handle the smell any longer. Everything just seemed to close in around her. _I'll just be outside. No big deal. Amu'll see me through the display window. Then the three of us can go to the food court._

On an overstuffed couch facing the Punk Place, Rima felt a bit exposed. She placed her purse on her lap and deliberately kept her eyes anywhere but where other people were. She knew anyone walking pass could see her or could _sit down _next to her on the couch.

Or take her.

At school, or just with people, Rima's memory of her kidnapping was slightly fuzzy, unreal. But here, by herself (or at home, where she might as well be by herself, beneath her parents' eye level and anger), the details were acute to her, as fresh as the present. She started rummaging through her bag, pretending to be busy and projected an air of maturity and proud indifference. As if that could be a barrier. She kept glancing up towards the store entrance. Amu had not made her grand appearance yet.

Her phone indicated that time had passed. Glancing up again, she saw Amu's head stick above the racks as a meerkat's might. Seeing Amu wander the aisles looking for her slightly irritated Rima. _I'm right here. _She carefully placed her phone back inside her purse as she waited for Amu to come outside.

When Rima saw the six chara, she realized that Amu was not looking for _her_. "Where's Utau?"

"She wasn't in any of the changing rooms, Rima. I waited and then checked the feet. Didn't you see her?"

_I'm not to blame for this one. I would have seen her walk by me, right? _"Maybe she was gone before either of us left the changing room."

Amu scanned the area with a panicked look in her eyes. "Forget whose fault it is. We need to find her before . . ."

Neither of them wanted to finish that thought.

Rima realized just how _(short)_ helpless she really was.

**O~~O~~O**

She blinked, and panicked for a second at how close the walls were around her. Then, swirling around, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Just noticing for the first time, she felt the slippery cloth of the dress slide between her fingers. Glancing back up in the mirror, she smirked. The dress was a deep violet silk, grazing at her knees. Entranced, she approached the mirror, barely registering the walls around it as pink, and stared at her eyes. _Huh. They're the same color. Neat._

Pleased with her outfit, she twirled once more for good measure, and walked out of the dressing room.

All around her, the store crawled with teenage girls groaning as their mothers showed them sensible dresses, while others giggled with friends as they pointed out the most outrageous of homecoming wear. Calls of "It needs to have straps" and "_Mom_, that's _ugly_" reverberated around. Walking amongst them all, she faintly wondered where her own mother was. Maybe she was shopping for tuxedos with Ikuto.

Her feet felt clammy and cold, and she looked down. No shoes? Did she leave them somewhere? With Ikuto?

She took a step out of the store, and alarms shrieked to life.

Jumping out of her skin, Utau fled. Her feet pushed against the cold linoleum as her purple dress trailed behind her.

**O~~O~~O**

Standing in the center of the food court, Rima resisted standing on a table to view her surroundings. All around her and Amu, people milled about aimlessly, lost in thought as their eyes blink at the menu boards. The chara floated above the heads, but Utau was nowhere in sight. But in the noise, jostling crowds, and the smells of deep fried sushi, Rima wouldn't be surprised if Utau was just in line for lunch with the hundreds of other people.

No, the mall is huge; Utau probably isn't here.

Rima wanted to suggest splitting up, they'd be more effective that way, but she knew that even being surrounded by a hundred strangers, she'd still be very alone.

(_You can't walk home by yourself. I'll be there right after school, so hurry to the car.)_

_(What a cute little girl. Your parents will definitely pay.)_

She never had to suggest it though, as Utau ran across the court, and three mall cops followed.

O~~O~~O

Yaya walked into the cheerfully pink changing room, humming a beloved DART song. Rushing, her feet tripped over someone's stuff. Looking down, she nudged the clothes to the side. Jeans. A shirt. And . . .

" . . . Shoes? Why would someone forget their shoes? That's what Yaya wants to know."

**O~~O~~O**

**A/n: Oh my gosh I am so sorry. I could gush out excuses but that's stupid. So instead this chapter is about thrice as long as my other ones (2118 words). **

**And I'm sorry for probably getting too much into Rima's head, since she's only a narrator in this fic. But picking the narrator requires deciding who has the best angle, and I thought Rima did . . . so I'm not sorry. (Though I do apologize for Utau's emo-ness in her entry. Unnecessary, I know.)**

**And there was sort of a reason for always labeling Utau as "she" in her POV. **

**I feel like most of this writing is a bit shaky in many aspects, but I ignored physics for this, so I wanted to get instant gratification and update immediately, on a school night . . . when no one's on. **

**I was inspired to pick this up again from a story on aol about a man with severe retrograde amnesia :D Bye! My inbox also felt a bit empty, but I don't really deserve reviews with my procrastination. **


	10. Obsessions

Chapter 10

Obsessions

"_How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success."_~ Elbert Hubbard

"_We ate Ramen noodles for a really long time."_ ~ Jamie Doran

**O~~O~~O~~O~~O**

**HOSHINA UTAU OUT IN THE OPEN**

O~~O~~O

**HIP-HOP ICON STILL SUFFERING FROM FREAK ILLNESS**

O~~O~~O

**WHY HOSHINA'S TOUR WAS REALLY CANCELLED**

O~~O~~O

**INSIDE UTAU'S HEAD AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT**

O~~O~~O

**A TRIP DOWN HOSHINA'S MEMORY LANE: HER FADING ACHIEVEMENTS**

O~~O~~O

**WHAT IT MEANS FOR HOSHINA'S CAREER**

O~~O~~O

Kukai tossed the newspaper on the coffee table and ruffled his hair back. After the misunderstanding with the mall, they couldn't dodge the media anymore and Utau's amnesia became the next day's headlines. The tabloids were treating the cover-up like a scandal, and conspiracy theories had already cropped up. Poor Utau was trapped in her house. Journalists eventually retreated to their cars outside, hoping to catch Utau unaware and get a quote. The nonsensical the better, in their opinions.

And Kukai and Ikuto had to use the backdoor to get inside. Now Ikuto could have easily entered through his bedroom window, but only God alone knows what sort of gossip that would rise.

Sanjo Yukari, always seeing a profit to be made in any opportunity, was able to wring the public's hearts, and their wallets for that matter. It saved Sanjo Productions from the executioner's block. Wealthy patrons of the arts donated, fans mourned their idol and began buying albums again, and famous musicians (like DARTs and the master of enka, Kagawa Masashi-sama) held fundraising concerts to pay for the continuing investigation for the cure.

Press releases were made and Utau, of course, was required to make a statement or two for each of them. On her better days she really meant what she said, and on her worse days she had no idea what she was talking about.

And that pretty much summed up the current state her amnesia was in. On a daily basis she typically remembered her name, Kukai's name, any old memories involving Ikuto, and normal stuff like the layout of her home and what a fork does. And sometimes she recognizes Tadase's face, or at least she gets a vague memory of that one day years ago when she was playing hide and seek with Ikuto, and a small blond boy was there too.

The best news Kukai heard since this whole amnesia disaster started, besides Utau finally grasping his name, occurred in the late afternoon when Utau asked him if they still had any leftover ramen that she could eat. This, like every other great revelation, occurred while they were watching television.

"Utau," Kukai leaned forward from his slouch on the sofa and muted the animal planet, "You remember what we had for lunch? What'd you and Ikuto eat for breakfast?"

She frowned, looking at the giraffes drink from the watering hole on TV, and huffed angrily, "Like anybody can remember that. Turn the giraffes back on."

Kukai held the remote in his hand but didn't bother with the TV yet. Sitting up completely, and alertly, Kukai pushed one of those throw pillows away and said, "I had two slices of toast, and a fried egg. Well, actually I had a fried egg in between two slices strawberry-jammed deliciousness, with orange juice spiked with Mountain Dew and a couple of pieces of bacon on the side. My point is that _I_ remember."

"Well _anybody _would remember a meal like that. And you lived? Turn the volume back on. I need to hear the giraffe's battle cry to grasp the full effect of the showdown." Utau had a point; Kukai had no idea why the giraffes were fighting.

He reluctantly flicked the volume back, only for Utau to look down at her feet and say, "That reminds me, I need to get some more socks."

Now Kukai flicked the television off completely, much to Utau's displeasure. "You remembered that you needed new socks? That's great!"

She frowned and shoved her foot in his face. "No, idiot, because I have a hole in this one." She wriggled her big toe that stuck out. It was manicured with a dark blue nail polish and a white flower. She brought her foot back and pulled her blanket up to her chin, "Now giraffes."

Kukai flicked the television back on, and slouched. This was Utau on one of her best days.

**O~~O~~O**

Kairi always had little projects that he liked to work on besides school. They were usually intellectual projects, like learning how to write backwards. But they were always relatively small things that he could practice after school or in study hall. He hardly thought about them during the class periods. He compartmentalized his tasks. No schoolwork during projects, and no projects until his daily tasks were done. Organized.

Well, one project had begun to take up most of his free time. It had even been on his mind during lunches at the school cafeteria. Kairi was afraid that he would start drifting off during science class.

And that's what happened, over the months.

Kairi didn't have a small manageable project anymore. Nor a hobby.

It was an obsession.

He had to figure out what happened to Utau's mind.

He had a notebook, see. Several notebooks, actually. These notes were real, with noted and annotated sources. Two days after Kukai brought Utau for help, Kairi had interviewed Kukai. He interviewed everybody. Kukai's questions and answers were in pages six through nine. Kairi felt those had to be the most significant, no, the _key _to the answer. That, and Kairi's interview with his uncle that was a doctor. (Kairi couldn't get the files from Utau's _real _doctor, so an educated source was the best he could do).

Kairi fumbled with the lamp switch at his desk and flipped his notebook open to Kukai's interview.

_Kairi had been very professional that day. He set the tape recorder in front of him on the table and opened his notebook to a fresh page on his knee. The previous pages had information on the different types of amnesia and other definitions. _

_Kukai seemed to be anxious. Wringing his hands and furrowing his brow, which made him look like he was thinking deeply and gazing into the distance. He seemed a bit out of it. Kairi noted it._

_He tapped his pencil and said, "Ready, Kukai? Try to focus and . . . remember."_

_Kukai woke up from his reverie and nodded seriously. "Sure. Go for it."_

_Kairi started with the date Utau lost it and the circumstances, for the record book._

"_So, if you would please start at the beginning of your date when you first saw Utau at her house. Then go ahead and say whatever you can remember, even if you don't think it's relevant, I'll decide if it is or not. Whatever details would be good."_

_Kukai wasn't all that comfortable to start, but became himself once he got into the groove of the story. "Well, it was around ten in the morning when I came over to go with her to take her around town and see that carnival that just came to town. I walked. She seemed completely normal, you know. Like, well, you know what I mean. I don't really remember what she was wearing, though. I think it was orange."_

"_That's okay, it shouldn't be that important," Kairi reassured._

"_But it was, because . . . I remember saying something about her shoes . . . after she fell down, I think." Kukai sounded unsure of himself at first, but then decided that he remembered correctly. "Yeah, her shoes. They weren't tennis shoes, some sort of sandal. She called them glacier shoes."_

"_No, you probably mean gladiator sandals." Kairi had been writing notes, but he scratched out that last bit. "I've seen her wear a pair of those just two weeks ago."_

"_Oh, yeah, that was it."_

"_Please continue."_

_Kairi noted nothing of real importance until Kukai came around to the bit where Utau fell down. He had mentioned it earlier, and Kairi waited patiently for it to be explained. _

"_So I think we were running to the carnival. Yeah, I remember running towards the lights. It was just starting to get dark, and it had only opened about an hour or two before. It was dark, and we started running in the parking lot. Have you been to the carnival yet? The lot's gravel. And by the ticket booth there were posts that directed the crowds, and there were also a light post, too. Anyway, we got really excited to see the Ferris wheel lights, it was just ahead, beyond the entrance. We never really declared a race, we just started running. I don't think either of us were feeling up to it; we had just eaten at that Chinese buffet down the street. But we were running. The gravel sort of slid under my tennis shoes, so I had no idea how Utau could keep up. We had actually made it near the entrance when Utau said something about winning, and then her head wasn't in my vision anymore. She fell. I helped her up and she brushed me off and we went to buy our tickets and get inside. The ticket guy saw what happened and commented on her "wipe out". I didn't see it, but everyone agreed that her sandals slipped and she fell face first. She was sprinting full ahead—she never slows down until she knows she won—when she fell, tripped against the wooden crowd post, and ended up banging her head against the street lamp. We walked into the fair, but she didn't seem really into it. She had some painkillers on her, and she took a few. About . . . half an hour later I asked her if she wanted to go home or to the hospital about it but she said she would be alright. So . . ."_

"_And did anything else happen?" _

"_No, not really. The lights sort of hurt her eyes though. She made some comment about that."_

"_Do you know why she might have been at the park the next day? She called you there."_

_Kukai sat and thought about it, and just as Kairi was about to close his interview, Kukai said, "Well, we went to the park before the carnival. Does that count?"_

_Kairi had stopped the tape recorder, "Yes, I suppose that counts."_

Later, Kairi decided that the park was the last memory Hoshina Utau had.

**O~~O~~O**

Ikuto lay stretched out on his bed when he heard several journalists scream, a couple of car engines started, and tires squealing. Then he smiled. He stood to open his window to allow Yoru and Daichi float inside. They were giggling.

"Ikuto~nya," Yoru grinned. "It's like Halloween!"

Daichi interrupted Yoru. "Nah, it's Harry Potter with the owls. But cats."

"But like ghosts too~nya!" Added Yoru. "When they pulled the sheets~nya, and couldn't see us! Priceless~nya!"

"Nya!"

The chara started meowing at each other when Ikuto left the house by his window.

**O~~O~~O**


End file.
